When my dad was diagnosed with cancer this spring I was pretty heartbroken. I took my girls and went home for a while to wait until things got better. I went to see him in the hospital for the first time and when I had a minute alone with him he asked, "how long are you going to stay" and I answered (through my tears), "until you get better." But he didn't get better-not while I was there (in fact he didn't even get out of the hospital in the time I was there) and he kept getting worse in the weeks and months to follow. Before I left I sat beside him on his hospital bed to tell him that I loved him just in case I didn't get to say it to his face again. I had plans to say a lot more but it was awkward so I left it at that. There are lots of times that I wish my dad was better with showing his feelings and being a bit more sentimental about things. Sometimes a daughter just has things she needs to say to her father that require an extra amount of sensitivity. The weeks and months following made me think a lot about ways to show my girls that I love them, both right now and in the future. I think that if I was possibly in my last days (if I had the chance to know an end might be coming) I would want to call them every day, or more than once a day to say hello and tell them that I love them. I would want them to find evidence of my love in all the things that are around them as well as in memories that they have. I have a box for each girl in the basement in which I keep special things for them. I have been trying to add little gems of love more often so that when they get older they will have as many reminders as possible that their mom loves them. This is one of those gems. It is a slide show of my favorite pictures of the girls. There is no particular order. The music speaks thoughts from my heart. It is about 20 minutes long so I don't expect many of you to sit through it (except for my mom of course and Auntie Helen and Uncle Doug). If nothing else though maybe you could watch it through the first song. I first heard this song months after Brailie was born. I was struggling with post partum depression and was having a really difficult time. This song came at just the right time for me.
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2 comments:
Of course I love this, I think I successfully stored it on my computer. I just sat and listened to the music and cried and was so surprised that there were some pictures I had not seen before, so that was an extra treat. I regret that pictures were not so easy to do when you were young as they are now. I tried to get as many as I could, and I love pictures of my children. I am so blessed to have the wonderful children that I have. I hope you know how much I love you my dear, and all of your family. Amazing daughter you have and they have an amazing mother.
That would be daughters.
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